Don't start classroom management without this one thing.

Brennan Koch
Aug 8
4 min read

It’s coming. Classroom management season. I don’t know if you have noticed, but our classrooms are significantly easier to manage when the students aren’t there. But they are coming. So, we need to be ready to create an environment for all to have access to learning. There are approximately 1,000 different methods for classroom management. I’m not here to debate those. Instead, I want to give you one principle that must be included in all classroom management styles. Without it, you are destined to be fighting an uphill battle.

Speak the truth in love.

Seems simple enough. But it can be hard to accomplish. Your goal as you create your classroom culture is to lay a foundation of truth and love. Kids know when you aren’t telling the truth. Kids know when they are not loved. You will get the best of them when they know the truth and they know they are loved. Below, I will outline some of the consequences of lacking these two characteristics.

Lack of truth and lack of love is abuse.

I’m hoping that you can see that no teacher should ever lack both of these traits. If you refuse to tell the truth to a student and do so without any love, you will become a master manipulator. Classroom management that is ruled via manipulation will not last. It is impossible to build a learning culture when the children are being held in emotional captivity.

Truth without love is judgement.

You have met someone like this. They are dedicated to telling the truth in any situation and without regard for the people being told the truth. I am reminded of an innocent version of this that happened in the grocery line when my son was about three. We were waiting our turn and Carson’s attention turned from the candy in front of him to the lady who was next in line. In a loud voice he said, “She’s so old!”. I gasped in horror, and looked at the lady who, to my relief, just smiled at my kid with a wink. Phew. That is judgement without regard for the other person.

In the classroom we need to tell the truth. Don’t lie. Don’t sugar-coat. Don’t avoid. Tell the truth. But if you just tell the truth without love, your students will go into their shell trying to avoid detection because they don’t want your judgment.

Love without truth is delusion.

Love is intoxicating. Everyone wants to be loved. But if you are telling your students lies about themselves in the name of love, you are creating delusion. Let’s say a kid has been talking nonstop and disrupting your flow. You pull the kid aside after class and tell them, “You will do better tomorrow.” You haven’t actually told them the truth. You have to call out their bad behavior. You must identify the consequences of the choices on themselves and others. Don’t make them delusional thinking that they will automatically be better tomorrow without giving them the truth. They were wrong today and here is a plan to improve.

It can be easy to want to sugarcoat the truth in the name of love. You are just getting to know these students. You want to create a functioning relationship with them. But if you refuse to tell the whole truth, and try to cover it with love, the student will not have a clear vision of their world in your class.

I coached basketball years ago and had a junior boy approach me and ask if I figured he would make the varsity team the next year. I cared about this kid. But I had to tell him the truth. I told him that if he takes one step forward like he had each of the past few seasons, that he would be cut. He had to take two steps, or his basketball career was over. That hurt me to say because I love that kid. But if I just showered him with sugar and tried to buoy up his spirit, he would come in the next season delusional. There’s a cool end to that story. He did take two steps forward, became a team captain and a starter at the state tournament. Now he is my assistant coach and a guy I mentor once a week. None of that happens if I make a love without truth comment to him.

Speak the truth in love.

If you want your classroom management system to be stable and complete, there is no other option. You have to bring both truth and love to your culture. Explain to kids that all classroom management requires you to tell the truth. And all your classroom management requires that you love your students. When that is your foundation, the kids will feel a safer and more engaging environment.

So go ahead, choose your classroom management strategy. It doesn’t matter what it is. But make sure to speak the truth in love.

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